Sunday, March 28, 2010

Remembering how to use the pen tool...

Ugh... It's been a while since I have touched Illustrator. But here was my test run to see how outlining in Illustrator and coloring and photoshop would look.
Not great, but not as bad as I was expecting, and the lil guy is really cute.
The creature is a design of one of my friends, Jean Ngo.
I imagine he makes a lot of squee noises...

Adventures in Baking; #1. Mini Cakes


So I'm going to start putting my food explorations on here along with my art. Because cooking is art as well if you think about it.
So here goes, something I made for a party last night. I mixed a few recipes together.
XD

Makes 12 Mini Cakes.

What you will need for the cakes:
2/3 cup of all purpose flour
1/2 cup sugar
3 tbsp Cocoa
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp each baking soda and salt
1/2 cup water
3 Tbsp Veg Oil
1 tsp Vanilla Extract

What you will need for the Glaze and Fo Shizzle Drizzle:
2 Tbsp butter
2 Tbsp Cocoa
2 Tbsp Water
1/2 Tsp Vanilla Extract
1 Cup Powdered Sugar
1/2 Cup Peanut Butter Chips
1 Tbsp Shortening

Step 1: Pre-heat your oven to 350 F. Lightly grease 12 Muffin cups.

Step 2: Stir Together flour, sugar, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda and salt in a medium bowl, work out those forearms! Add water, oil and vanilla; stir until batter is blended nicely. (Your batter is going to be kind of thin so don't freak out and add more flour) Spoon into prepared cups, filling 1/3 full. Bake 12 to 14 minutes or until top springs back when touched. Cool in pans on wire racks for 3 minutes, invert onto racks and cool completely. (if you put the glaze on before they completely cool it will just melt and run all over the place like the blob, and no one wants to eat the blob. With the exception of perhaps my old room mate Krystal)

Step 3: Prepare Chocolate Glaze (see below); dip rounded portion into glaze. Place on wax paper and let cool. You can refrigerate them if you want, but i would cover them if you do. Prepare the Peanut Butter Fo Shizzle Drizzel (See Below); and fling that all over those buggers!

Chocolate Glaze Instructions:
Melt Butter in small saucepan over low heat; add cocoa and water. Cook and stir until slightly thickened; DO NOT BOIL. Remove from heat; cool slightly. Blend powdered sugar and vanilla; beat with wire whisk until smooth and slightly thickened.

Peanut Butter Fo Shizzle Instructions:
Place peanut butter chips and shortening in small microwave safe bowl. Microwave full power for about 30 - 45 seconds, just until the chips are melted and smooth when stirred.


So the finished product should look something like this... Unless your a better drizzle master than I, in which case SHUT UP!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Commoners Guide to Understanding a Nonsensical Southern Woman

Terms Of Endearment…
Not Always So…


So over the past several years I have had many people approach me (i.e. boyfriends (all two of them), coworkers, casual acquaintances, etc.) and ask me what the deal was with my seemingly non-specific terms of endearment. I would generally assure them that they are VERY specific, and explain the ones only relating to them, and the other people they asked about. However recently someone approached me about them all… at the time my response was “I’ll have to get back to you on that”. So here it is, I’m getting back to them; and everyone else that may ever wonder, here you go; an almost complete breakdown. A few of them are actual classifications of some sort, I have assessed and labeled you and you don’t even know it! But some are more just situational responses.

1. Darling: pronounced Dar-lin’
I generally use this one for one of three reasons.

A. Congratulations, I have now included you in my circle of friends. Forget me ever calling you anything else (unless I come up with a nickname for you i.e. Booga Boo or Chocolate Thunder) you will now and forever just be known as darling.

B. I actually forgot your name and I am really hoping you think I’m calling you darling because of “A.”

C. Also, in the work environment (even though I shouldn’t) I try to use darling a lot to make people feel more comfortable bringing problems or requests to me. So if you ever work with me, you will get that a lot. Just trying to help people relax a little.

For Example:
Human: “Hey Monica… Somebody broke the toilet, it’s not flushing… and I wasn’t sure who to bring it up too…”
Me: “That’s fine darlin’ I’ll go take a look at it.”


2. Sweet heart:
This one is the same as Darling just leveled up a little. Clauses “A” and “B” for darling both apply here with the exception of an extra.

A. Willful Submission. I will also use sweetheart in the situation where a request has been brought up to me, and I am happy to oblige.

For Example:
Grant: “Hey Monica, do you mind running across the street and picking up a loaf of Bread for me?”
Me: “Sure thing sweetheart”

If I don’t say Sweetheart after or reply with something like “Roger that”. I will still do it, I would just prefer not to.


Side Note: If you are a boy, you have a girlfriend, and I know the girlfriend; I will probably refrain from calling you either of those two phrases in attempt to avoid a possible “cat fight” in the future. Those are not my idea of a great way to spend a Friday night.


3. Shug: Derivative of sugar; Pronounced Shoo-g
Only a select few get labeled as this. They are generally my “favorite” people. Mostly people that completely fascinate me, or emanate some sort of extremely happy quality not found in the people around them that I adore. Off the top of my head I can only think of 3 or 4 people I call shug.


4. Shuga Babe: Derivative of Sugar Babe, Pronounced as one word Shoo-Ga-Bay- b
Mostly this one is for animals or babies. I will only use it on an adult human if they do something that makes me think of that Johnny Cash song.
“Chattanooga’s a fine old town shuga babe...”


5. Sweetie/ Sweetie Pie:
Now we are getting more into the situational terms. This one I almost never use, unless I am trying to calm some one down for some reason or another. So if you hear me say this one, take a deep breath and shut up.


6. Honey Child:
Another situational term, used when my blood pressure rises, could be for a number of reasons listed below.

A. Congratulations you successfully made me angry. Using Honey child is a form of passive aggression in my statements of rage, to let both you and I know that I still love you, just don’t do that again.

For Example:
Me: “I don’t care what Krystal told you! Under no circumstances Honey Child, should you EVER touch my peanut butter sandwich!!”

B. Some times I will use honey child when I am getting frustrated from someone not understanding what I am trying to say. Whether it is because they can’t or won’t understand me.

For Example:
Krystal: “Soooooooo… you can’t dance because you’re Mormon?”
Me: “For the last time, I am not Mormon, I have never been Mormon, and for the love of the dear sweet Lord God almighty, Honey child, I will NEVER be Mormon!!!"

C. Another instance would be if someone has done something that got me so excited I am about to explode, in which case I combine everyone of these loving expressions and compile them into a sentence that doesn’t always make sense.

For Example:
Ranko: “Sure I could burn you a copy of the Eva Rebuild Movie”
Me: “Oh shug… you just… darlin your gonna… your just a swee…Oh I could kiss you right now Honey child."


7. Pumpkin/ Dumplin’/ Puddin’:
I threw all these together; 1. Because I’m lazy, and 2. Because they are all situational, and are used in the same situation. If you ever hear me say one of these, it is because I am trying to degrade you and make fun of you.

For Example:
Me: “Oh it’s alright dumplin, I’m sure usually you’re a real pro, your just having a bad day right?… That’s the only reason I’m wiping the floor with you…”


8. Puddin’ Pop:
Saved this one for last, because most people never catch it. This one is strictly situational, only for use when I am making fun of someone to myself, and unless you catch me use it, you will never know I was just making fun of you.

So there you have it, an almost complete break down of my insanity. If you have any complaints please keep them to yourself honey child...

I did a thing! Why do we tell Werewolf stories continued.

I made a video of the older article series I did on this blog. Here is the first, its a little rough, as I keep doing these hopefully they...